It's been awhile!!

So it has been awhile since i last sat down and blogged!! so much has been going on that just keeps me busy!! And i thought i would have all this time to do what i wanted once i had all the kids in school and now that i am done with school!! BUT i don't!! or maybe i waste most of my time doing things i shouldn't be doing!! like on FB most of the day!! when i should be doing housework or what not!! BUT that is so boring to me.. Once upon a time it was fun i loved keeping my house in tip top shape, no dishes in the sink, no laundry to be done, no nothing!! i always kept a nice house just in case i had company!! BUT i never had company, no one to just drop by to have coffee or shoot the breeze!! even to this day i don't get company, no one pops by just to say hi!!! Don't get me wrong i do clean my house LOL! I guess what i am trying to say is!! I miss having friends!!! really great friends that i have not had in a long time, i long for the days when my life will be filled with great friends again!! friends to go have lunch with, friends to go have spa days with, friends to go on mini vacations with.. I once had a really great group of friends, more friends than i ever had in my life and they were great friends even though i was not a great one to them in the beginning but i had a great change of attitude thanks to one of them friends that i still talk to, to this day even though she is far away! but the other ones not so much, and that is painful i miss them girls but i sit here and wonder if they miss me as much as i miss them. I have tried my hardest to reach out to them and i get nothing back and it leaves me so empty inside will i ever have friends!! am i meant to have real friends or am i meant to go though the rest of my life friendless!! i wish i knew.